Emmaus Counseling Center
"We are committed to ‘walking with you’ and helping you to find peace in your life.”
The simple answer is this: as soon as the bullying comes to your attention, you should contact the school. The longer it goes unchecked the greater effect it will have on the child and the school population as a whole. This is not a problem that will take care of itself. Find out if your school has a bully prevention program, who to report to, what actions will be taken, and how you can be involved in your child’s safety. You can also seek the help of other mental health providers, such as marriage and family therapists, who are trained to work with families and individuals alike. They can also help interface between schools and parents.
Signs that a Child is Being Bullied
The following are some common signs that a child is being bullied:
-lowered school performance
-school avoidance
-social isolation
-few or no friends
-reluctance to engage in activities
-loss of possessions or destruction of property
-bruises or other signs of abuse
-emotionality
-complaints of physical distress
-change in appetite
-change in sleeping patterns.
Be sure to pay close attention to any abrupt changes in behaviors or emotionality. These are signs that something is going on with your child and you should ask your child about his or her school experiences. Bullying is a major problem and should not be ignored. Not only does one risk lowered school performance or school avoidance, but also long-term emotional and social damage, as well as self-harming behaviors and suicide. Marriage and family therapists are trained to deal with these issues, as well as assist the family in adjusting to these behaviors, working with the school, and in providing social skills training for either a child who is being bullied or a child who is bullying other children.
The text of this consumer update was written by Anjali Pinjala, PhD, and Jeremy Pierce, MA.
Hot Topics - Stress & Anxiety
Providing the Tools to Handle
Stress & Anxiety
by Richard
Wemhoff, Ph.D. and Mary Decker, Redmond Reporter
Most of Dr. Wemhoff's clients are middle-aged men facing job stress,
unemployment and/or conflict in their personal lives.
“I see a lot of adjustment disorder — something going on in the
person’s life,” he explained. “It could be a situational problem.
... A lot of people use the word ‘tools.’ They want tools to help
them deal with stress at work or in relationships.”
Those tools could include calming techniques such as meditation or
visualization, said Wemhoff. He also works with people cognitively,
to stop certain thought processes and replace them with less anxious
thinking. He asks them to avoid “worst case scenarios”
and focus on what is happening in the present, or “What do I
need to do in terms of next steps?”
Fran Regdos, MSW, ACSW sees a lot of couples who feel trapped in bad
marriages because of money. They can’t sell their house or can’t
afford to maintain separate households. She also sees many who want
to save their marriages, “but it takes a lot of discipline,” she
said.
Another therapist, Wendy Berg added, “Many would be better off
leaving but they can’t.”
So what do they do?
“Treat it like college roommates, like you’re stuck in the lease but
can’t get out,” said Berg. “Sometimes Dad ends up living in the
basement. It’s hard for the couple but harder still for the kids.”
Divorce and its toll on childrens’ emotions is a constant source of
mental health issues, the therapists agreed.
Emmaus therapists see children and teens who are overwhelmed with
activities, expectations and social pressures. From culminating
projects to college acceptance and fears about poverty, kids have
much more to worry about than their parents’ generation did.
“And school does not feel so safe anymore. Weapons are more readily
accessible,” Wendy Wahlroos, LMFT said.
Wendy Berg, LMHC said she’s seeing many people who have conflicts in
their workplace.
Technology also can negatively impact the way people communicate,
particularly kids.
“They’re texting all the time, have relationships online. Parents
may be out of the loop,” said Wahlroos.
“All the multi-tasking contributes to attentional problems,”